Thursday, April 14, 2016

My First Panic Attack


Last night I lay on the couch watching tv (I couldn't even tell you what I was watching), my 9 lb cat on top of me and I started to feel unwell. My chest felt tight, I felt kind of sick, and I couldn't breath, like the cat was a pile of bricks smothering me. And then I started to panic. The cat is going to kill me with her 9 pounds! I'm going to be smothered! And I sat up quickly, shoving her off, and tried to just breathe.

the big bang theory panic attack

In fact, the cat was not trying to kill me, I mean unless it's possible to kill me with her love, which my sister would probably argue is in fact possible. I'd had coffee for the first time in maybe a week and the caffeine had hit me hard, making me feel like an atomic bumble bee on steroids, my hands shaking throughout the afternoon and into dinner. So coffee was definitely to blame. But also this whole house flipping business is really stressing me out. I haven't written anything in a while because I am perpetually afraid of jinxing things by declaring too early. So I've kept my mouth mostly shut on the matter. Suffice it to say that nearly two months ago there was an offer. And an acceptance. And then inspections. And the septic failed, which meant digging up the old and putting in a new one, which was actually pretty interesting to learn about because when would someone like me, who rents in the city (ie town sewer) ever get to learn about it otherwise? But back to the topic at hand. Then an appraiser issue (because he was on vacation or something? I can't keep it all straight), but basically taking his damn time and stressing me out. Because meanwhile, we'd already gone and found our next flip and in true Stephanie fashion I've gone and fallen in love with it. I've already redesigned the kitchen, and the master bath (which as an aside is going to be bananas), and the paint colors, and the mantel on the TWO STORY fire place. Yes, you read that correctly. Oh and the wall of sliders I want to put in on the front of the house, because, duh, light. But then last night there was another email from our realtor with yet another hurdle pushing back the closing.

So hopefully now you're understanding why caffeine was maybe not the best idea, but then again I never expected to have a panic attack. ...And now I've lost my train of thought. Where was I going with this? Oh yes, the reason I'm stressed is that pushing the closing back and back and back again effects the potential next flip. And if we lose it I might just throw and curl into a ball and cry to my heart's content. (I'm no quitter so there will actually be no towel throwing, but I will probably cry a little.)

Anywho, in book-related news, this weekend I'm making brunch for my girlfriends so they can give me their feedback on the first draft of the follow up to Kissing Frogs. I'll stuff them full of food and they'll let me know what works and what doesn't and then I'll spend the next few weeks remolding and reworking until it's perfect. So that'll be nice to not think about houses for a hot minute. And drink champs with my best girls.

Okay, back to work. Here's to hopefully no future panic attacks!
~Stephanie
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