Sunday, August 25, 2013

Update on Hot Pepper Jelly Incident of 2013

So I called my mother on the verge of tears (I'm a weenie when it comes to pain, let's just get that out there) multiple times. After three hours of intense, and I really mean INTENSE, pain she said to just immerse my hand in anything dairy. Milk, she said, would do the trick. But I never keep milk in the house. What dairy did I have? Mint chip ice cream. I almost cried as I stuck my hand in the carton of ice cream and used the remaining third to quench the heat. So long mint chip, it was nice having you in my belly.

I thought for about five minutes that it had worked. But then the feeling returned to my numb fingers and I realized the pain was still present. So then I stuck my hand in a thing of cottage cheese. Anything to save my chobani yogurt from a similar fate. (I'm not going to even comment on the irony of the dish I chose. It was uninentional, I swear, though I suppose on some subconscious level I was trying to stick it to the peppers of the world.)

After about half an hour sitting like this I finally gave up. About an hour later I finally felt back to normal. So in all I spent five hours with my hand feeling on fire. So heed this lesson! One, do not buy small red peppers that are in the same bin with jalapenos. They are not in fact jalapenos. Two, if you do choose to buy unlabeled small peppers WEAR GLOVES WHEN REMOVING THE SEEDS AND DICING THEM. Trust me, this is not an experience you want to try out for fun.

There was one positive thing to come out of this experience. The jelly is phenominal. Thank god. If it had been inedible I would have cried.

Happy Reading!

1 comment

  1. Oh my gosh! I can't believe the pain lasted that long and that you sacrificed a carton of mint chip! Love that you used a pepper shaped bowl. Too funny.


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