Thursday, January 9, 2014

Book Signing

My mother is my biggest book-seller. She doesn't work at a book store or a publishing house. She is a dental hygienist. While she's cleaning her patient's teeth she often ends up on the topic of books and then sometimes the patient buys one of my books. When she shows up at my house asking for me to sign a copy I always get flustered. I feel like the words inside the cover should be a personal note of thanks to the reader except that I don't usually know the reader. So I sit there with the book open, pen poised and nothing comes to mind. How can it when I don't know the person? So I usually ask, Ok, give me some details about so and so. And my mother will tell me what she knows, which usually includes their dental health.

[Name] - Thanks for buying my book and keep up with the flossing! ~ Stephanie

[Name] - Heard your gums are looking great! Hope you enjoy the book! ~ Stephanie

Can you imagine if I actually wrote that? Inevitably I end up writing some rendition of Thanks for purchasing my book - I hope you enjoy! Which feels lame and hollow and then I feel like a fraud because I wrote a dang book but I can't think up a line or two to thank the reader?

Then last night, as I sat with a book open on my lap and the pen hovering above the blank page Bug came over and sneezed. Cat goobers all over the page. Part of me thinks that was her own personal critique on my ability to sign a book.

[Name] - Sorry about the kitty snot, but hope you enjoy the book! ~Stephanie

So, if you end up with an autographed copy of my book please know that I am sorry I wasn't able to think up something cool to write. If it's any consolation, please know that I sat with it open, trying my darnedest to think up something personal for near ten minutes before giving up and writing whatever blubbering line you now see on the page.

Happy Reading!

1 comment

  1. Hahaha. I would love if you added a dental health message to my signed copy. Start mentally composing, please.


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